You Cannot Not Create

One of the most surprising lessons of this past year—through grief, reorganizing companies, and forming new partnerships—was realizing that something was being created whether I was aware of it or not.

One of David’s most popular phrases was this: You cannot not create.

At a time when I felt highly reactive and simply trying to keep things going, I was still creating—whether I realized it or not. This is one of my favorites of David’s many wisdom phrases, and it has brought me great perspective and guidance.

The truth is, we are always creating. In fact, we cannot not create. This idea really matters. Why? Because if we remember that we are always creating something, then it becomes essential to focus more intentionally on what we choose to create.

In his bestselling book The Creative Act: A Way of Being, Rick Rubin writes that creating isn’t a special talent—it’s a basic human capacity. Creativity, he says, is our “birthright,” and to create simply to bring something into existence that wasn’t there before—a song, a conversation, a solution, or a new way of showing up. He frames creativity as a way of being and a practice of paying attention and shaping it with intention and care.

Rubin says that the act of creating reconnects us to aliveness and meaning. Creativity trains our focus to listen for the impulse to make choices and to enrich our everyday life.

Martha Beck, a master coach and student of human development, writes in her latest book that creating is the antidote to anxiety. Creative action, she explains, activates the prefrontal cortex, which operates on an entirely different system than the one that manages anxiety. Any creative act—no matter how small—whether it’s making a sandwich, arranging flowers, or taking a new route to work, is a remedy for anxiety. Anything that engages you in the process of creating sends a powerful message to your brain.

You cannot not create is a reminder that we’re always at choice—so what do you choose?

Another reason this idea is so important is that even in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), we’re often unconsciously creating. When I slip into a Victim mindset, my attention goes to what I’ve judged as wrong or unfair, and I “create” complaints and a pattern of reactivity.

When my Persecutor part takes hold, I create control and blame. In Rescuer mode, I create opportunities to help and to look helpful. The DDT isn’t a pause in creating. It’s still creation—but most often from an unconscious place fueled by fear.

That’s why the reminder you cannot not create is such a powerful bridge to The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*). It returns me to agency and choice: If I’m creating anyway, what do I want to create now?

From TED*, my energy and focus become intentional and grounded in inner wholeness. Victim shifts to Creator: I clarify what I want and take one next step. Persecutor shifts to Challenger: I speak truth with respect and invite growth. Rescuer shifts to Coach: I trust another’s creative capacity and offer support without taking over.

So you cannot not create becomes a daily tool. It says it’s okay to not know what you want yet. In fact, that’s often the most honest place to begin. When I’m reactive, I usually know what I don’t want before I can name what I do want. And here’s the twist: naming what you don’t want is still creating. It clarifies the direction you’re ready to move away from, which often reveals what matters most.

When you notice yourself becoming reactive, try this simple three-step dance of creativity:

1. What don’t I want right now? It’s okay to start here. This is often the doorway to what you do want to create.

2. What might I want instead? Even a vague idea still counts as creating.

3. What’s one baby step that moves me closer? Taking responsibility for one small step reduces anxiety and restores energy for action. This is the move from Victim to Creator.

You don’t need certainty. You just need a next baby step. And that is creating.

Another way to think about this is that at any given moment, we are orienting ourselves toward one of two things:

• What we want, or

• What we don’t want.

Whichever one has your attention becomes the creative force shaping your next step.

The question isn’t whether you are creating.
The question is: from what place are you creating your life right now?

Remember, you cannot not create.

Until next time,
Here’s to the Creator in you,

Donna

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